Apr 152013
 

Jopen Key Comet G Wand courtesy of AlexUsually it takes a bit of time for my screaming endorsements to seep into the consciousness of my readers. Especially when the toys I love cost a pretty penny. But not this time. I flailed about the Jopen Comet G Wand less than two months ago, and I’m already getting reports back that peeps have bought and loved it.

A reader named Alex sent me the sweetest, ego-stroking email thanking me for alerting her to toxic sex toy materials and iffy lube ingredients, James Deen’s existence, and glass dildos. She bought the Crystal Delights Star Delight and Comet G Wand based on my reviews, and confessed, in perhaps the greatest compliment ever given to me, “my vagina thanks you from the bottom of its (our?) heart.”

Intrigued, I asked her to elaborate. And elaborate she did!

I bought the Key Comet G Wand as a bit of an impulse buy after seeing the review on Hey Epiphora. Actually I had originally been tossing up between it and the njoy Pure Wand, but the Comet G Wand was cheaper and therefore it won out. I should quickly preface this thing by saying that my G-spot and I are not the best of friends. Occasionally I can work myself up enough to have an amazing orgasm but that’s quite rare — usually it’s a stranger to me.

All right, so the first time I used this toy I was very ambivalent about it. I’d just gotten it out of its packaging and was raring to use it. My mistake — this toy is definitely not quickie material (at least not for me). I decided to set it aside and see if it got any better on a day when I had more time to myself. Oh man. Can someone say, “best decision of my life”?

The Comet G Wand was pretty much made for my vagina. I didn’t even realise my vagina could play favourites like that until this toy took my normally absent G-spot and shook it out of hibernation like a mofo. If I rock it, it’s there. If I thrust it a little, it’s there. If I stir it…

The Comet G Wand is so impressive because it is like the G-spot whisperer. It’s just heavy enough to give it a good weight and really make me feel it, but light enough not to tire out my wrists. The bulb is basically the perfect size. It nestles up against my G-spot (that’s right — I just used the word ‘nestle’ in a serious setting!) and doesn’t let me forget for a second that it’s there, rubbing against me, putting pressure in all the right places and making me really believe that G-spot orgasms can be a regular occurrence in my life and not just a one-off. It’s a little lube-hungry and it kind of drags a bit upon insertion, but once it’s in there… dude. Using this thing was literally one of the best masturbation sessions I’ve ever had in my life. If I were capable of squirting I’m sure I would have been a dried-out husk by the end of it, it was that good!

If you buy this don’t make the mistake that I did at first. This dildo is for those days when you are all alone in the house and you just feel like masturbating all day and there is literally no conceivable reason why you would ever need to leave your bed. This toy was made for that.

Good point, my friend. I tend to forget that most G-spots require actual warm-up, that most are not always rarin’ to go like mine is.

Also, DRIED-OUT HUSK. Such a grotesque image. I welcome it with open arms.

I know a few more of you jumped on this toy the moment I reviewed it, so add your thoughts below. What do you think of the Comet G Wand?

[Want to write me a postcard? Find out more here.]


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  • http://twitter.com/SugarCunt Sugarcunt

    I’m very deeply in love with the Comet. It is the shooting star of my toybox.

    …no? Trying too hard? Okay. No more jokes.

    Real talk: this dildo is the shit. If you get one newly-released dildo this year, this should be it.

    It’s beautiful, both physically (seriously, I got the blue one and I love the color) and you know… because of orgasms.

    I found the dragging that has been described to be really delicious.
    It’s a totally unique sensation. My G-spot loves this toy. Yours will
    too. You’ve gotta get it into your life. And your orifices.

    THE POWER OF SUGARCUNT COMPELS YOU.

  • (FS) Navigator

    I’m cackling right now, because right this minute, I’m looking at my own review of the Comet and wondering if it’s too enthusiastic. This toy does things to my G-spot I didn’t know could be done, and I consider myself fairly well-acquainted with my G-spot. The part that rings true the most, though, is that this toy should be used on a day when you have lots and lots of time, because you will never, EVER want to put it down.

  • Anonymous

    Bought it on your recommendation. The best criticism I have is that It makes distractingly loud wet noises when I use it, which is a bit unsettling but probably is part and parcel with the awesome G-spot stimulation.

    Interestingly: I’ve only ever been able to have orgasms if a vibrator was involved, but I think this dildo and its G-spot magic is slowly changing that. Since I started using it, I’ve been getting much closer to orgasm during oral and PIV sex the dildo isn’t directly involved in, which is awesome!

    I mean, the causality is total speculation on my part, but this seems like a pretty meaningful coincidence to me, and I can tell a coherent story wherein intense G-spot stimulation -> increased body awareness -> orgasms. It’s also not obvious that this particular dildo is the cause – I’ve never used a toy with a G-spot bulge like this one has before.

  • escort15456

    I’d love to see more of this sort of thing. One of the complaints about the current state of 3D sex games is that the avatars aren’t realistic enough and the animation not smooth enough to stop being distracting.

    Birmingham incalls

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    I totally don’t think any of that is a coincidence.

  • http://twitter.com/buzzyngabe Raine

    Ugh-I WANT one *whining*, I want my g-spot to come out of hibernation, and have a toy that I can call a mofo. I’m about to take my TV to a pawn shop like a crackhead so I can afford one-she wrote a cool Postcard-thanks for posting it. I hope to be sending you one soon about my brand new Comet!

  • Alex

    After I sent off this postcard I was kind of thinking, ‘Oh shit, was I too happy about this toy? I’ve only used it twice. Do I have enough evidence to backup my claims that it was made for my vagina?’

    After many hours of in-depth research, I can safely say: why yes. Yes it is. I also stand by my claims of becoming a dried-out husk; I’m fairly certain an inability to ejaculate has saved my life, otherwise I probably would have died of dehydration by now.

    In any case I still love it, it’s still an amazing shade of blue and my vagina is still thanking you (in a non-creepy way, of course).

  • John D Stories

    Sounds like the next toy we should be getting … :)

    My wife and I are still enjoying the Palm Power Massager; we worth a look! Exceeding powerful, although not as quiet as your toy!

  • Val

    I wanted to buy this as soon as I saw your review. I want to buy it now (although I am not so sure I want a dragging sensation, but I”ll give it a shot). My problem is: The only affordable one I can find here (Germany) is PURPLE. Unspeakably ugly light purple, that is. What to do??

  • Melissa

    I have to tell you, I found your website by accident. IT IS THE BEST
    THING TO HAVE EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!! I have been shopping Adameve.com
    for all my sex toys, and I have to say, I feel cheated. While I love
    them and they have amazing deals, they don’t have the variety that you
    list on your website. I know you don’t sell them, but I have seen toys
    on here I’ve never really seen before. Also I totally love that you
    list where we can find the toys you review!

    That being said, I
    have been getting more in touch with my G-spot lately and trying to have
    my first G-spot orgasm. Clitorally I can have multiple orgasms which I
    consider myself lucky to have.. but thinking about squirting.. I just
    get so ENVIOUS and want to experience it so bad. Fuck, just give me ANY
    G-spot orgasm and I will be the happiest camper alive. Anyways, I’ve
    been becoming way more familiar with the feelings of stimulation of the
    G-spot and I feel like I’ve become comfortable enough to recognize the
    feeling of getting close to orgasm, but simply lack the right tools to
    get there. SO: I am getting this toy. LIKE NOW.

    You are just
    amazing and so damn funny yet sensual all in the same post and you make
    my day all the time! Your posts actually encourage me to try more to
    get to my goal and you make it sound FUN best of all. I can’t wait.
    Thank you Epiphora!

  • escort15456

    Sometimes we just want to do a little research about a topic. We want to know generally what something is about.

    Birmingham incall

  • Zenissima

    Get it from a Dutch (Willie.) or a British shop (Lovehoney) :)

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Lovehoney only has it in purple. WHICH I DON’T KNOW WHY

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Adam & Eve are VERY mainstream, so they’re only going to stock toys from larger manufacturers. They’re also not discerning at all, so they also stock tons and tons of shitty, unsafe toys. You can check my buy toys page for the shops I recommend, many of which carry interesting and indie brands.

    You are totally getting close to a G-spot orgasm. i know it!

  • Val

    What is it with purple?? With this shade of purple specifically? I don’t get it.

  • http://novelteez.blogspot.com/ dizzygirl

    I’m trying to decide between the Purewand and the Comet. I wonder which one would be best at finding my g spot… she’s an elusive one.