Jun 212011
 

[Update, 01/19/12: Jollies lives again under the name Chavez Dezignz! Hallelujah!]

I suspected it was coming when I saw the Jollies toys disappearing from the stores. Everything becoming out of stock. There have been rumors, even scares, before — about Jollies going out of business. Then rumors about them being revived. But now I know, after an email from Jollies CEO Luze Chavez, that it’s permanent.

Yes Jollies is dead and gone. We just had no time to continue as we have a different business and it is so busy, we did not have time to devote quality time to Jollies.

Damnit, I’m really sad about this. The toys Jollies made were fun, colorful, eclectic, and innovative (especially that!). There was no set color palette. There was glitter. There were polka dots. Jollies made some crazy shit. Some of it worked, some did not. But they tried.

Jollies’ crowning toy was named, fittingly, the Jollie. The dildo’s odd shape came from a mold of an actual woman’s vagina, and the toy was not really made for thrusting, which made it peculiar and unique. It came in a large variety of colors, including a Valentine’s Edition. At one time, it was possible to order custom Jollies with just about anything suspended in the silicone. COME ON, THAT IS AMAZING.1

When Jollies made a toy that looked like a penis, it was not the usual penis. This one, Jack, had an odd shape to the shaft, and it leaned slightly to one side. The very pronounced head had a sort of gravelly texture to it — how they did that with silicone, I have no idea. In a sea of penis-shaped dildos, Jack feels unlike any other, and is one of my favorite dildos. It hits my G-spot like a freakin’ champ.

My amazing JolletOne of my other favorites? The Jollet, with its epic G-spot bump and adorable scalloped base. I was lucky enough to get my hands on a polka dot one. I will treasure it forever.

I am also honored to be one of few who own Mr. Man. Arguably Jollies’ most groundbreaking toy, Mr. Man is a cock-shaped dildo with a hole down the middle; it transfers suction from the cock’s head all the way down to the recipient’s clit. And it feels damn good. If I could will just one Jollies toy back into existence, it would be this one. As my friend Vega said to me, “Mr. Man should fucking exist.”

Jollies also invented the Rider — an insertable, vibrating blob of silicone that resulted in one of my funniest reviews of all time, and the coining of the distress call, “MY VAGINA IS CLOGGED.” They also made the Luna, a butt plug molded from a woman’s anal cavity. Jollies’ other toys were the Thrust, Wave, Bubbles, Bandito (a really interesting toy — basically a cock ring with a dildo attached), and some Hitachi attachments.


Luna, Wave, Bubbles, Hitachi attachment, and Bandito

I keep thinking about how new bloggers, new sex toy fiends, will stumble across old reviews of Jollies toys. For a moment, they will be filled with such hope. Then they will learn the truth, and eventually, simply owning a Jollies toy will be something to be cherished. Oh god, I’m getting so depressed.

It appears that JT’s Stockroom still carries a few Valentine’s Jollies, so snatch those up while you still can. If you’ve seen Jollies toys in stock anywhere else, please comment!

Friends, let’s reminisce and mourn. Do you have any Jollies toys? What did you admire most about Jollies as a company? What would you embed in the silicone of a custom Jollie? How the fuck can we get another company to manufacture Mr. Man? You have my full permission to get sappy.

  1. I can only think of one toy that is a copy of the Jollie, and it’s a paltry 3″ long butt plug. []
  • Chloe

    Oh no! I was hoping to save up for a Mr. Man :(
    Hopefully other good companies will make things like that in the future.

  • Little Miss Naughtygirl

    This is so sad. I don’t even own one Jollies toy! How depressing.

  • http://www.dangerouslilly.com Dangerous Lilly

    Sad indeed. I have the Thrust which I couldn’t stand, the Luna which didn’t work for me at all like I’d hoped, and of course I’d owned both Jollet and Jollie.

    This is the downfall to falling in love with an independent sex toy manufacturer.

  • RaDD

    Ohhh man… I am fantasizing about a dildo with a skull and crossbones suspended in the silicone… I have a MAJOR skull fetish and that would be FUCKING AMAZING… I feel so sad knowing that this WAS once a possibility but the moment has passed… :(

    Fucking tragic.

    Also, I have wanted a Mr.Man ever since reading your review. The thought of making a straight man suck my dick is beyond erotic.

  • http://www.Shannakatz.com Shanna

    I use my Mr. Man as an example in many of my classes, and I’m always asked “where can I get one?” I’ve always been sad that this dildo didn’t take off, as it is really fucking brilliant, both for actual sexy times, as well as for educators. RIP. Mr. Man.

  • Jane Blow

    Very sad. I’ve wrote a bunch of companies who sold Jollies after I discovered them and they seemed to always be out. Now it’ll never happen, unless Stockroom comes through. I admit, I avoided the gold and the valentine editions. I envy you gals. :)

  • http://will-o-the-wisp.tumblr.com Caroline

    I never even got to try any of jollie’s toys! :(

  • http://heartbreaknympho.com Wilhelmina

    nooo! now i will never own a jollet, a thrust or a mr. man! and i was, overly optimistically, hoping that production of the mr. man would be restarted! THEY MADE TOYS IN POLKA DOT, GOD DAMNIT.

    they will be missed. i wonder if they’d consider selling their designs to another company?

  • http://aagblog.com/ aagblog

    Did you know that they made me some Jollies with my logo suspended in silicone for a giveaway at BlogHer 07? That was so fucking super-awesome. :)

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @aagblog: WHAT NO OMG.

  • Antipova

    I don’t suppose Luze let you know if she would sell/give her patents to another company, did she? I feel like that’s our only hope…

    I got a Bandito, which is the most amazing thing ever for a girl in a monogamous relationship who loves double penetration. It’s like two cocks thrusting at once, and the shape is so brilliant that it doesn’t even get squeezed out during orgasm. I found someone who didn’t like her Jollie, too, so I get to revel in those two creations, at least…

    …but I would do almost anything for just one week with Mr. Man.

    I would have gotten a Jollie with a galaxy or the solar system suspended inside.

  • Bearded Lady

    Aw, I’m sad that they went out of business.
    Though I was able to order from Stockroom – thanks! Now, hopefully, they have it in stock and I’ll be able to have my hands on it…

  • http://quizzicalpussy.com quizzical pussy

    It was a sad day for sex toy enthusiasts…

    I’ve wanted a Mr. Man since I knew they were a thing, but I guess it’s not to be. I guess I’m sort of hoping against hope that they sell the design to an opportunistic company or something, but would it ever be the same? Probably not. Because polka dots.

  • Katie

    I found a site where I can get a polka-dot wonder wand attachment for my Hitachi, should I do it?

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @Katie: Just for the polka dots, I’d say yes. Although their Hitachi attachments are not the most exciting of their designs.

  • http://stockroom.com Elisa

    I found this post via one of my orders this morning here at stockroom.com.

    Please email or call in an order for some of our jollies products. I was doing a stroll in the warehouse last week and we have 4 Bubbles (item D084, $48), and 3 Luna (D087, $49.00) in stock in the warehouse. There are also some of the Jollie in Pink, Item C932. The site says we are out, but I found some in the retail store. You will have to call in or email since they are not on the website. I think I am the only one who knows they exist. I own most of the Jollies products including the MR. MAN and agree it is so so rad.

    email me at elisa@stockroom.com, or call in your order, I am here everyday except Thurs, Fri. 213-484-3882

  • txymxy

    I snapped up a Bandito just because it was my last chance to own anything Jollies but I haven’t gotten around to really using it. I soo badly wanted a Thrust and was crushed when I missed my chance. And the Jollet. So very sad that I will never be able to try such things out.

    I’m tempted by that Jollie except for the fact that I’m super poor and also the Valentine’s theme is really unappealing to me. Whyyy couldn’t it be the polka dots instead. Bah

  • Katie

    @Epiphora: I decided to get the Valentine’s Jollie instead. Maybe I’ll get the Hitachi Attachment later.

  • the bedroom blogger

    I’m so sad…I’ve always salivated over these toys, but I only just bought one.

    There is so much awesome that I will never know. And it is depressing.

  • Chryssa

    It looks like the Valentine’s Jollies are now out of stock :( Oh, the sadness, I really wanted to order one, but alas, did not have the money at the time.

  • http://sugarcuntwrites.com Eusi Mto

    I’m looking at a page for the Luna, and because I am immature, I can’t stop thinking about how “blast-proof” is the absolute LAST compound word I would use when selling someone an anal toy. I get what they’re going for when they say it, because they EXPLAIN it, but I’m sitting here with my face in my hands wondering why I am clearly an idiot for thinking this, because it’s entirely possible that I’m the only one who has, since I am clearly 12 instead of 20.

  • anonymous

    Does anyone know if there’s ANYWHERE in the world that I could buy a Mr Man? It sounds just too ridiculously amazing.

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @anonymous: Nope… that one in particular has been out of stock for quite a while. :(

  • Pixel

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    I’ve been wanting several of the Jollies toys, but haven’t had the funds to purchase one. *sobs*

  • http://cand86.tumblr.com Cand86

    Oh, this is so sad. Getting the Jollie or Jollet has always been on my “list of things” . . . and now it’s no longer an option?!? This is the punishment I get for waiting too long :(

  • Antipova

    Epiphora, if I had a firm silicone dildo, and drilled a small hole down the middle, how similar would that be to the Mr. Man? How big is the hole?

    I simply will not resign myself to never having tried this.

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @Antipova: It would be quite similar! The hole is about 5 millimeters in diameter. I’m going to email you a photo of the underside of the base so you can see how that’s set up. If you succeed, you must come back and tell me/everyone!

  • Antipova

    @Epiphora: I’ll keep you posted!

  • anonymous

    Epiphora: Do you think you could post that photo somewhere on your website? I’m sure lots of people would love to see it… and I just might be thinking of making my own DIY Mr. Man now.

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @anonymous: Sure, I’ve uploaded it for you right here.

  • anonymous

    Thanks so much! Any chance you could recommend a dildo to make into a Mr. Man knockoff? I have way less experience with sex toys than you and probably a lot of the other people here do.

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @anonymous: Yes! Mr. Man is firm silicone. So I’m thinkin’ Vixen toys that are not made of VixSkin: Leo, Woody, Champlette. I think of Vixen first because their bases are nice, but some other options would be the Tantus Vamp, Tantus Buzz 1, Tantus John Doe, Happy Valley Hottie, and Happy Valley Perk.

  • Windy

    What do you think would be comparable to the Jollies Jollet?

    Can’t wait to get my Njoy pure wand and eroscillator that I just ordered because of you.,….

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @Windy: Honestly, there is no toy that even really resembles the Jollet. Trust me, I’ve racked my brain…

  • Lilly 2

    So. Much. Sadness.

    I own 3 of the Jollies original. I liked them enough to buy two and then I had some trouble with one of them melting with a silicone lube. No problem, they sent me another one! Now I have 3 (though one is a little melted I guess). I also like the Bubbles, and wish there was a way to buy more!

    Maybe another small company could pick up production? Whipspider comes to mind…