This is what I call a fucking tease:
Oh, you want to click on the toys? See bigger pictures? Read descriptions? Too bad — YOU CAN’T. This is all you get, loser.
My predictions about each toy’s features:
- Donut: Dispenses donuts after use
- Namison: Makes car racing sounds as you thrust
- Seed & Bud: Impregnates you with vibrator robot babies — with no option to disable impregnation
- Chu: Coos at you and laughs at your jokes by saying “LOL”
- Psi: Doubles as a kitchen device for cracking nuts and stirring shit (…with your mind)
While we wait for August to roll around, friends, any thoughts on what these crazy, awesome-looking contraptions might be?
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