Mar 022010
 

In the biggest product name FAIL of all time, I present to you the Joy Finger from Doc Johnson.

I can guarantee you this rubber abomination is not going to provide you with joy. Unless your definition of joy is “a wiggly, floppy sensation that may or may not leach chemicals into one’s vagina.”

Personally, I can think of nothing sexier than a sex toy that looks like a Halloween gag. Just add some fake blood and you’re good to go!

Also, one reviewer reports that the Joy Finger has an “intense fruity odor.”

I rest my case.

  • Vanilla Kinks

    I just made a blog post on my site about my love of fingers, but this??? Just no!

  • Sundae

    This just makes no sense to me…I have my own fingers if I want to use something that shape and finger banging from another partner is nothing like being poked with a single, rubbery finger. I totally don’t understand who could want this except as a gag gift…It gives me such an icky shuddery feeling!

  • http://www.askgarnet.com Garnet Joyce

    Haha! We have one of these in the back room at Early to Bed along with all of the other “um, no” toys that get sent to us. These include stuff like the interracial stroker, flip a sistah over, a talking dual action vibe, vibrating legs, vulva scented wipes, and titty blowjob (one of my personal faves).

  • The Victorian Pirate

    I can’t get past the, “……why?!” reaction. We use our fingers for lots of reasons: they’re dextrous, the skin feels good, they’re chemical-free as long as we have a grasp of basic hygiene, and best of all they’re free. This toy conveniently eliminates every single one of those features. WTF.

  • http://macleodvalentine.com Jaye of The Shiny Purple Ass-Missile

    Wait . . . what? Who would buy this, except maybe someone who had an unfortunate accident at the sawmill? Or to use as a random prop in a Kevin Smith movie. Or something.

    Ick. No.

  • RaDD

    Awww c’mon… double amputees need something to finger their partner with. Am I right? Right? No? Shit. Then I guess this is just the weirdest, most entirely useless product that I have ever seen… But hey, at least the fruity smell is awesome! or it just means MORE unnecessary chemicals that may or may not be safe for the inside of the human body.. ugh. seriously creepy.

  • Polly Vincere

    Just
    ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • Selective Sensualist

    But you can still use this toy to frighten trick-or-treaters! Just think of the possibilities!

  • http://www.namelesschaos.com namelesschaos

    You know I think all the toys in your um line could be used for a Halloween horror scene, this and that Dual Pussy & Ass Stroker dismembered body parts; the Topco blood lube would obviously be the blood; that Joanna Angel’s whip vibe the murder weapon and that guy from the homemade dildo video the perp.

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @namelesschaos: Hahahahahaha.

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