I’ve been reviewing sex toys for over two years now, so it’s high time I tried some mothafuggin’ anal beads.
Yet… there’s not much to say about the Flexi Felix. This 100% silicone string of beads is made by Fun Factory, purveyor of cute sex toys with faces — although I don’t want to think too hard about the face in this case, since my fingers are meant to gouge Felix’s poor eyes out. Felix comes in black, blue, and pink and is one foot long (9″ insertable). Felix is not as vibrant in color as most photos portray; mine’s the blue one, and it’s more of a pale blue than a sky blue.
Felix’s silicone is matte and generally firm, but slightly squishy and incredibly floppy between the beads. Basically, Felix collapses and droops whenever you do anything with it (him? Eh…). The beads slowly increase in size; the first one is about the size of a misshapen grape, and the last is more like two grapes. Fused. You know what I mean.
Once my ass is stuffed with the beads, Felix’s head hangs out of my butt. Sitting is not very comfortable. I mean, there’s a face there.
So, anal beads are incredibly awkward to insert. These are, anyway. All they want to do is flop. They do not want to go easily. It’s a slow process, bead by bead, that would be a lot less stressful if left up to a partner. Once my ass is stuffed with the beads, Felix’s head hangs out of my butt. This is Felix’s only real downside — this is not the kind of base that can rest quietly between butt cheeks. Sitting is not very comfortable. I mean, there’s a face there.
I decided that the fifth bead was a little much for me, so I jacked off with four of the beads inserted. It definitely felt good, and as I thrusted a dildo in my vagina, it jiggled the positioning of the beads.
As I neared orgasm, I began to awkwardly position myself so that I could pull the beads out when I came. At this point, the oversized base became a blessing. I shoved my fingers through the eye holes and held on for dear life. When I came, I tugged to my heart’s content. Fireworks didn’t go off in front of my eyes, but it did feel nice.
Cleaning Flexi Felix is a bit challenging, but I’ve found a method that works fairly well. I call it the scrunch-n-wash: ball Felix up and rub vigorously between palms. With soap. And water.
Although I have no anal beads to compare Flexi Felix to, I think this is a pretty perfect set. There are enough beads to fill me up; they’re soft enough to snuggle around in my ass; and the handle is useful (albeit clunky when sat upon). I imagine I won’t be needing or wanting another set of anal beads for quite a while now.
