Comments on: I blog about sex. That is not an invitation.

By: Just Because I’m a Woman |

Just Because I’m a Woman | — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 00:41:57 +0000

[...] female sex bloggers are writing about their experiences with sexual harassment this week. The men they are encountering assume that [...]

By: Selective Sensualist

Selective Sensualist — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 23:50:35 +0000

Well, this is eye opening. So sorry you deal with crap like this so much. Perhaps you shouldn’t worry so much about being “nice” or giving so much benefit of the doubt. Don’t feel bad about shutting this down much quicker. Again, so sorry, hon. Just because you blog about sex toys and masturbation does not mean that you have an open door policy to allow anyone and everyone to attempt to engage in cyber sex with you. Why can’t these guys just go to the proper forums to interact with other people who are open to it? There are venues for that . . .

Oh, and I am totally creeped out that they pursue this when you stress that you are in a monogamous relationship. You’ve clearly stated this many times in the posts I’ve read on your blog.

By: Just A. Girl

Just A. Girl — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 17:03:56 +0000

Wow… These men are crazy. I don’t get anything close to this kind of feedback. (Whew). But then my blog doesn’t have nearly your volume of readership and I am not on Twitter or chat. Maybe your male readers will see this post and take heed?

By: Cecilia Simon

Cecilia Simon — Wed, 12 May 2010 16:59:50 +0000

I’m fairly new to the world of blogging so I have yet to encounter much of what you have described. However, as an active member on an erotic roleplaying website, I have encountered my fair share of “I have your IM so now let’s cyber” of expectations. I find that it’s not something I do willy-nilly or simply with anyone ’cause he’s online.

I remember the first time I allowed a new guy on my YIM because I was a “mentor” on the RP website, Elliquiy, and the first thing he said was, “Wanna suck my cock?” I was shocked! No one ever walks up to me in the grocery store and says, “Hi! Wanna suck my cock?” why would they do that over IM? Is a bit of preamble too much to ask for?

I’m glad I found your blog!

By: Xaoc

Xaoc — Wed, 12 May 2010 04:46:17 +0000

Wow… I have to say, as a male, … Males suck. I don’t get it myself, If a girl wants to cyber, she’ll bring it up, or we’ll get to know each other over a long peroid of time and then I get to know when/if its okay. Never should a conversation start with ‘Horny?” or “Sex?” Or anything like that.

Men need to understand, even porn stars would like to have a normal conversation… Heck, I’m sure porn stars need a normal conversion more than most people.

By: MissMarguerite

MissMarguerite — Tue, 11 May 2010 23:50:55 +0000

I write on an adult roleplay site and I get those skeevy and perverted comments all of the time, as well as, on other sites where there is bound to be people interacting with one another. The one I usually get is whether I want to go onto cam and show off or whether I want to engage in cybersex two minutes into talking with the other person. Just because I enjoy writing stories of erotic and sexual nature does not give an open invitation to having random IM’s from unknown assailants telling me that my story or presence ‘made their cock super hard’. I really do appreciate that you are letting it be known that this sort of harassment is unacceptable and should be reported or blogged about to get the word out about the topic. Thank you.

By: Rape-apology and fame privilege « Pussy Goes Grrr

Rape-apology and fame privilege « Pussy Goes Grrr — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 05:10:22 +0000

[...] I’ve been called a whore and a slut for my sexuality. I experience these things and so do countless other women. It is [...]

By: No Means No, Regardless of the Forum

No Means No, Regardless of the Forum — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 00:12:08 +0000

[...] crossing the line when it comes to online chat, and many other bloggers have written about it, too. Epiphora talked about it, Carnivalesq recently posted about it, as did Nadia West. Lilly’s written [...]

By: EmilyC

EmilyC — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 01:11:59 +0000

@Tami: I mean I think that's true to some extent, but it's just another extension of this whole idea that female sexual pleasure has to be in service of male pleasure. I think if dude had said, "Oh sweet! Happy orgasms to you! Let me know if you need some help" then Epiphora would have responded differently. Females have sexual needs, they sometimes take care of them- why is this a big thing?

By: Epiphora

Epiphora — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 06:19:05 +0000

@Tami: I expect him to understand that I am just explaining what I'm doing. I am a very honest person, and that is genuinely what I was doing at the time. I wanted him to know that I was busy. My jacking off is not a come on, it's a normal human sexual act. If he takes it as a come-on, he is the one at fault, not me. It does not give him the right to suddenly ask me if I will come for him. Obviously it wasn't the best thing to open a conversation with, but if he was a respectful person, he would not just jump right in and assume I wanted to cyber. It's not like I said, "I'm jacking off. Want to help me finish?"