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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo OsΓ© twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo OsΓ© twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Month: January 2010

Greatest HitsLube etc.Pop ShotsSex Toy Reviews

Pop Shot: Beer Lube

January 31, 2010
It doesn’t taste like beer. At all....
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Bcurious

January 29, 2010
The Bswish Bcurious, which is quite humorously one letter away from being called the “Bicurious,” joins a small, tight-knit family...
Keep Reading
A keyboard spelling out "SEX." Because sex blogging = a rearranged keyboard, duh.
BanterBlogger LyfeFeminism's Not a Dirty WordTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

I blog about sex. That is not an invitation.

January 26, 2010
Yes indeed, I run what the general population would call a “sex blog.” I spend my days drafting posts about...
Keep Reading
Colorful Tickler vibrators all in a row.
Giveaways

Tickler winner!

January 25, 2010
I was delighted by the response to my Tickler giveaway. I received a boatload of comments! But of course, there...
Keep Reading
Joanna Angel's Whip Vibe, a horrific black spiked shaft with rubbery pink and black tails on the end.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Um, No: Joanna Angel’s whip vibe

January 24, 2010
OH GOD, NO. DON’T COME ANY CLOSER WITH THAT THING. I KNOW WHAT THAT SHIT FEELS LIKE. I DON’T NEED...
Keep Reading
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tera Patrick Fleshlight (Twista)

January 22, 2010
My boyfriend is afraid of fake vaginas, but I forced him to make an exception for the Tera Patrick Fleshlight....
Keep Reading
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes

January 19, 2010
There will be squirting, tons of it — onto faces, asses, assholes, sheets. There will be spitting, punching, smothering, choking....
Keep Reading
Colorful Tickler vibrators all in a row.
Giveaways

Giveaway: A Tickler of your choice!

January 17, 2010
It’s a tickle extravaganza! The folks at Tickle are letting me give away a Tickler! Ticklers are adorable little silicone...
Keep Reading
Romp butt plug in gorgeous honey-colored Mora wood.
Giveaways

New decade, new butt plug winner!

January 17, 2010
Wow! The response to my New decade, new butt plug giveaway was enormous! Thank you all for commenting, tweeting, blogging,...
Keep Reading
Ask Piph logo, with a sex toy forming the question mark.
Ask PiphGuides

Ask Piph #1

January 16, 2010
What made you choose the pseudonym “Epiphora”? I put too much thought into it, but I’m glad I did. I...
Keep Reading
Wahl All-Body Massager vibrator
Adventures in SquirtingHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Wahl

January 15, 2010
The Wahl is easily lost in the shuffle — usually only mentioned in the same breath as the Hitachi as another once-innocent...
Keep Reading
Minna Ola, a smooth slightly curved vibrator with a squeezable handle.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Hell Yes: Ola

January 14, 2010
There were several new toys unveiled at the Adult Entertainment Expo this year, but Ola is the only one I’ve...
Keep Reading
Vixen Creations Randy dildo in the chocolate color, chilling with some moss on my patio.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Review: Randy

January 9, 2010
Randy Field Diary, Day #1 β€” Arrival My vagina is not ready for the brown beast they classify as “Randy.”...
Keep Reading
LELO Luna Beads kegel balls lying on white satin.
Guest ReviewsKegel Exercisers

Guest Review: Luna Beads

January 8, 2010
It was my glowing endorsement of the LELO Luna Beads that convinced Rachelle to get them. But beyond that, her job...
Keep Reading
Positioning etc.Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Scoop/Wedge

January 5, 2010
...Liberator sends a Wedge along with the Scoop. So here I am with two Wedges, a Scoop, a Ramp, and a suddenly not-big-enough apartment. Seriously, the Scoop is enormous. I mean huge: 24″ wide, 40″ long and 12″ tall. It’s hard to visualize, I know, but take my word for...
Keep Reading
Romp butt plug in gorgeous honey-colored Mora wood.
Giveaways

Giveaway: New decade, new butt plug

January 4, 2010
The year is 2010. It’s a new decade, and you’re ready for a change. Your butt plug collection is paltry,...
Keep Reading
Load More
Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 18 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

see more

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Review: Turn Me On Vibrating Panties

Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibrator, and the tools to dismantle the patriarchy. (Fork and knife.)

Review: Cupcake

Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.

Why I don’t like strapless strap-on dildos

Review: Luna Beads

We-Vibe Tango Glow (pink) and Dusk (gray-blue) Pleasure Mate Collection

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

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