I have a lot of toys I don’t use. I’ve given a few away to friends, but most of them sit in a drawer or in one of my toy cases, taking up space and generally being not in/on a vagina/ass. This is a fitting fate for some toys (see: Impulse Butterfly… god, I really should just throw that thing out), but some toys are really not that bad. It’s just that I have so many, I have high standards, and I think certain things are the shit while others are just mediocre. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure, though, which is why I was really excited to put together this box…

This box stuffed with sex toys began when my Twitter friend Lady Astolat and I were swapping wishlists. I noticed that her wishlist contained several toys that I owned but never used. I sent her my full, updated list of toys to swap, and she chose a bunch more. After many emails and much prodding from me (“don’t you want some bad porn?!”), she came up with a sizable list of toys she wanted. I gleefully dug through my cases to find the toys, then washed them meticulously, wiped them with 10% bleach, and wrapped them in plastic. The final contents of the package are as follows:
- Dai Do #4
- Twister
- Elle Clitoral Dancer
- Dr. Berman’s Ruby
- Toko Aroma Melon-Mango lube
- System JO Raspberry lube
- Stroker
- Dual-Sided Swirled Rib
- Rhapsody, Symphony Edition
- the infamous Treeze Wave (I hope it’s not cursed!)
- A couple other goodies that will remain secret for now
And I’m really, really excited to be getting rid of all this stuff. I never use the toys, and I’m not a fan of the lubes, so I’m glad they’ll be going to a home where they will be appreciated. Lady Astolat’s current collection of toys is far too sparse, so this should get her started on a ridiculous collection like mine. In exchange, she is going to buy me the Tentacle and a couple other things. I’m really excited.
And to those who are (rightfully) worried, the lube has been taped up and placed in its own ziplock bag. Never fear!
If you liked this, you might also enjoy these posts:
- Review: The Big Book of Sex Toys
- Blogiversary blowout: oodles of sex toys
- Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2011

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July 31st, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Ahh, that’s all so great! What a lucky duck Lady Astolat is!
July 31st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Fun stuff in store for her.
July 31st, 2009 at 7:26 pm
You have no idea how excited I am!! It’s like waiting for Santa Claus!! Being fairly new to owning sex toys, I deeply appreciate Epiphora giving me this opportunity to try out so many different things!
Hmm. I see myself making a FYN order in the not-too-distant future.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Woot for both of you! Lady Astolat is bound to be excited and I’m excited too because I can’t wait to see what you think about the Tentacle!
July 31st, 2009 at 8:52 pm
I agree with Oggins. It’s great to see sex toy reviewers doing their part to recycle products, especially when said products aren’t necessarily BAD, they may have simply not worked for that reviewer. It’s like a resurrection for sex toys.
Uber-excited to see what you think of the tentacle!
August 1st, 2009 at 11:22 am
5lbs and 7 ounces of toys!? You sure have a vast collection, haha.
My collection (3 toys) doesn’t even weigh a pound…yet! XD
For the toys that you can’t give to friends (ie. they’re broken or can’t be sterilized), there’s a place to recycle them: http://www.sextoyrecycling.com/
I can’t wait to see what you think of the tentacle.